We're constantly singing songs of praise.
"You're all I need"
"God is enough"
"All I need is you Lord"
Saying that the only thing we need in life is God, and nothing else.
But do we really believe it? Are we satisfied with just God alone?
That is the question I've been struggling with.
We constantly crave human companionship. We're made for interaction with other people. Then how can we say God is enough?
I am constantly seeking God. And yet I'm always feeling so lonely, as my interactions with other people are lacking.
And especially, I long for that someone special. Someone to love, to care for. Someone who'll love me, support me, respect me.
And yet I say God alone is enough. And I AM living like that at the moment...not really seeking other relationships. But my soul cries out loneliness... a loneliness that somehow God alone can't fulfill. God said "It is not good for man to be alone"...even though Adam had God already. So God alone isn't enough? However it must be noted that God was the one who said that.... it's not like Adam went to God and said "I'm lonely, can you give me someone else". So Adam himself wasn't feeling lonely....was he?
Right now I am constantly telling myself that God is enough. But I don't know if it's just because I've been so scarred... so hurt.... so crushed.... that I never want to trust another human being again. I feel that never again do I want to give my heart to anyone. Never again. And so I reason that God is enough...but is it just an excuse to comfort my broken and bitter heart?
Does God want us to live in this life...surround ourselves with people. Give our self away to other people, maybe even fall in love and get married to someone.... but then really feel that God alone is enough? If God alone is enough, then there's no point caring about anything else. Cuz if you cared about anything, then you'll be afraid of losing it...and then God alone wouldn't be enough.
But then.. I guess that WAS how Jesus lived. Surrounded by people. Always going from person to person, life to life. And yet I think he always felt isolated from everyone... besides God. He lived with people, and yet his relationship with God the Father was enough.
A strange concept.
How can I continue my life, depending ONLY on God...
And yet not let bitterness and sorrow overwhelm me?
Sadness and misery knocking at my door.
Depression and loneliness filling up my life.
Is God enough? And why is my life/thinking/emotions not reflecting that?
Hi! I'm actually gonna comment again and answer some questions, just giving my two cents. It is v interesting that the concept is something like "God is all we need" and yet "it's not good for man to be alone". I can't say I can clarify all that...
ReplyDeletebut anyway, humans are made in God's image so I guess when we draw nearer to one another, love one another and have relationships (and not just superficial, "I love ya mate!" but true relationships), we understand better and LEARN to love better. maybe God knows that WE are lacking the ability to fully love (indeed, even understand or know) a God who is invisible and that amazing (compared to say, when we actually have eternal fellowship w him in heaven) ergo he wants us to learn and use the experience on earth via our friendships, parent-child relationships, romantic relationships etc to understand diff forms of love and WHAT it means to love and also as a result draw nearer and love and receive God's love even more! We also fail to worship God all the time - we fall, and fail so often to glorify or love God. when we are in fellowship, and especially marriage, we are propping one another up, spurring each other on CLOSER towards him better than we can do alone. I know you like bible quotes, but that's not what I can provide right now. you can check my recent blog entry about Jesus walking on water and fellowship :)
idk if that helps Kev!! it saddens me to see that you are going through this. I identify with you and your hurt, and really, honestly, I understand it so well. I've been there so many times, with so many diff combinations of regrets, bitterness, hurt, hope, disdain, etc... and it always feels like this (like all your blog entries).
I think you are disenchanted with people because you haven't got, atm, anything meaningful and deep (as what you may have experienced in romantic rship) to give you that confidence in people-rship. Indeed, it pales w the intimacy you seem to be enjoying w God! I can only hope that you draw nearer to awesome loving relationships w ppl from here on as well.
Sorry for the essay! happy to chat further where my ramblings won't all be in text form but mb verbal exchanges lol
Praying for you man.
Aury