So it's been over a year since I posted haha. Yet I thought I'd start again, and my life has changed heaps. Furthermore, lately I've been thinking a lot about a lot of things, and thus thought that this would be a good way to store my thoughts.
I have just moved out of home about 2 weeks ago. I now live in Kensington with a housemate. This housemate is Kai, one of my friends from Ridley. His previous housemate got married and moved out. Thus he was looking for a new housemate, and I thought that this is a perfect opportunity for me to move out. I've been feeling very cramped at home, and this is a good chance for my independence.
So for the past 2 weeks I've slowly moved my things over. I've also bought a new couch and TV, as well as lots and lots of Ikea furniture. As with most Ikea stuff, a lot of time has been spent assembling it! Tien came over one saturday and helped me put together a lot of the stuff, which was very helpful.
I'm also about to end the 2nd semester at Ridley of my 3rd year. Since I'm only doing 6 subjects in total this year, I still have 2 more subjects next year (as well as 8 more units for an extra grad dip). The intention is to finish my Masters, then slowly do the grad dip for interests. I've mainly been concentrating on Bible, language, and Christian Thought & Theology subjects. However I have not been doing much practical skills subjects (except for preaching, which I am doing atm). Thus I want to slowly do subjects such as pastoral care, leadership & management, Christian worship etc.
Just like it was in my 5th and final year of optometry, I'm start to feel very tired and lacking motivation in my subjects. My life feels so busy and stress, and I have no time for anything. I've also started doing some preaching, and thus need time to write my sermons too! Basically I've just started losing enjoyment of doing these studies. I kinda want to just go back to work for a while.
I was looking forward to this semester being less stressful. I was just going to do 3 subjects, with the 4th one being the Israel Tour at the end of the year. However, the Israel Tour was canceled (for the second time... it was meant to be mid-year but was canceled, then changed to end of year...and now canceled again) as they could only get 12 people, instead of the 20 required. This really really sucked, as I was really looking forward to going to Israel. There was a chance I could have explored Egypt too! Not only that, but now I have to take up an extra subject! Thus in addition to Hebrew, preaching, and Romans, I took up the final Theology (TH604 Church, ministry and Sacraments). [I needed the 4th subject as Hebrew and Preaching were year long subjects but only counted as 1 subject. Thus even though I had 4 subjects both semesters, on paper it's only 3 each. And I needed at least 3 to continue centrelink as well as HECS). This means more essays and exams! I didn't think I could handle an extra exam. Thus in the end I'm signing up to TH604 as a Capstone. This basically means I can attend the class but don't have to do their work requirements. Instead I have to write 6000-7000 words on a topic which integrates Bible, Christian Thought, and Practical Ministry. I decided to write on the topic of Women in Ministry. This is an area which, though I have strong opinions on, have not had the chance/opportunity to explore extensively, to consider theologically. Thus I felt that this would be a great chance for me to do so. I will talk more about my thoughts in the other blog (jCloudz).
However, this means that this semester will be extremely packed again...sigh. I want time to chill out, to reflect, to read. To meet up with all these people have I have not seen for over a year. Yet I feel that this will be a stressful time again, with me constantly overloaded with essays. Right now, even though I'm suppose to be on holidays, have no holiday! I have to write 2 sermons which I will be giving in 2 weeks. One of them is at Ridley Chapel, as part of my preaching class! This is super scary, in front of all Ridley students and lecturers! The need to seem like a great and amazing preacher and blow everyone out of the water is so strong in me. The need to be applauded by my peers overwhelm me. I need to get rid of all this pride. I need to be humble, else I know that God will forcefully humble me, as he so often does. I will also be preaching at the Night Church in Vicwest. From there I have 1 sermon per month. preaching at Reservoir in August and September, and then one last preaching class sermon in October. Busy busy busy.
And yet lately I just can't be stuffed doing anything! I've basically wasted the last half a week doing nothing. Also I have the stress that I have Hebrew major test when semester start..and there is a lot to learn and revise! And then there's a preaching essay which I had hope to do during this break...but haven't even started!
Just so much stress! This morning I decided that I need to stop and focus.... focus on God. I need God to give me strength, to give me focus, to clear my mind and heart. Without the energy that comes from him, I can do nothing!
I also felt like I need to start bloggging/journalling my thoughts again. Just to get all these feelings and emotions out!!
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